IP: Haiku Error Messages [some fun]

[Dave Farber <farber@cis.upenn.edu>]

Subject: Haiku error messages
Author:  Paul.Heckbert@hostess.graphics.cs.cmu.edu at INTERNET
Date:    2/14/98 12:41 PM




Error messages for the new "Microsoft Poet" operating system?


>Three things are certain:
>Death, taxes, and lost data.
>Guess which has occurred.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Everything is gone;
>Your life's work has been destroyed.
>Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Windows NT crashed.
>I am the Blue Screen of Death.
>No one hears your screams.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Seeing my great fault
>Through darkening blue windows
>I begin again
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>The code was willing,
>It considered your request,
>But the chips were weak.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Printer not ready.
>Could be a fatal error.
>Have a pen handy?
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>A file that big?
>It might be very useful.
>But now it is gone.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Errors have occurred.
>We won't tell you where or why.
>Lazy programmers.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Server's poor response
>Not quick enough for browser.
>Timed out, plum blossom.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Chaos reigns within.
>Reflect, repent, and reboot.
>Order shall return.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Login incorrect.
>Only perfect spellers may
>enter this system.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>This site has been moved.
>We'd tell you where, but then we'd
>have to delete you.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>wind catches lily
>scatt'ring petals to the wind:
>segmentation fault
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>ABORTED effort:
>Close all that you have.
>You ask way too much.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>First snow, then silence.
>This thousand dollar screen dies
>so beautifully.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>With searching comes loss
>and the presence of absence:
>"My Novel" not found.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>The Tao that is seen
>Is not the true Tao, until
>You bring fresh toner.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>The Web site you seek
>cannot be located but
>endless others exist
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Stay the patient course
>Of little worth is your ire
>The network is down
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>A crash reduces
>your expensive computer
>to a simple stone.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>There is a chasm
>of carbon and silicon
>the software can't bridge
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Yesterday it worked
>Today it is not working
>Windows is like that
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>To have no errors
>Would be life without meaning
>No struggle, no joy
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>You step in the stream,
>but the water has moved on.
>This page is not here.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>No keyboard present
>Hit F1 to continue
>Zen engineering?
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Hal, open the file
>Hal, open the damn file, Hal
>open the, please Hal
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Out of memory.
>We wish to hold the whole sky,
>But we never will.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Having been erased,
>The document you're seeking
>Must now be retyped.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -


>The ten thousand things
>How long do any persist?
>Netscape, too, has gone.
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Rather than a beep
>Or a rude error message,
>These words: "File not found."
>- - - - - - - - - - - -
>Serious error.
>All shortcuts have disappeared
>Screen. Mind. Both are blank.




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See you at INET'98, Geneva 21-24, July 98   <http://www.isoc.org/inet98/>