IP: What MS is really saying

[David Farber <dave@farber.net>]

>
>Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2001 10:22:14 -0700
>From: "Robert J. Berger" <rberger@ultradevices.com>
>To: Dave Farber <farber@cis.upenn.edu>, dgillmor@sjmercury.com
>Subject: What MS is really saying
>
>Thought this was apropos considering Dan's article "Microsoft's desktop 
>`concession'  taken from same old bag of tricks"
>
>
>http://www.infowarrior.org/articles/2001-04.html
>
>The Microsoft-English Dictionary 1.0
>(What Microsoft Really Means To Say)
>
>Article #2001-04
>8 July 2001
>
>Richard Forno (rforno@infowarrior.org) (c) 2001 Author. Permission
>granted to freely reproduce - in whole or in part for noncommercial
>use - with appropriate credit to author and INFOWARRIOR.ORG.
>
>
>
>For his novel "1984" George Orwell developed "Newspeak", a modified
>English language using ambiguous or deceptive words, metaphors, or
>euphemisms to influence public opinion on various matters - a common
>business practice refined to an exacting science by news media,
>marketing companies, and corporate PR departments.
>
>Nowhere is Newspeak more perfected than in the halls of the Microsoft
>Campus in Redmond, Washington - a place where legions of well-paid
>spin-meisters attempt to morph the reality of their company's
>business, legal, and product information into innocuous -sounding,
>politically-correct, calm-inducing statements when released to the
>public. Naturally, this has a confusing effect on the general public
>who is unfamiliar with this particular form of language.
>
>As a public service, this article contains a helpful list of terms
>used by the company and what, in reality - not Newspeak - such terms
>actually mean. It's my hope that such insight - culled from personal
>experience and the input of technology professionals - will cut
>through the Newspeak fog and assist readers in determining for
>themselves what Microsoft is really saying in its public statements.
>
>The Microsoft-English Dictionary is organized into four sections: (1)
>Legal, Marketing, and Internet Community Terms; (2) Security-Oriented
>Terms; (3) Product-Related Terms; and (4) Miscellaneous Terms.
>
>
>Legal, Marketing, and Internet Community Terms
>
>
>"Cancer" - (1)(n) - Microsoft metaphor describing Linux and the open
>source software movement. In reality, the term best describes
>Microsoft's own products, starting off small and then growing,
>spreading, and usually having negative effects on its host, often
>requiring software "doctors" and utilities to restore or recover such
>problems. Like cancer in the human body, many hosts have been disabled
>or killed by such organisims. See also "Swap Files" and "Temp Files."
>
>"Consent Decree" - (1)(n) - Court orders requiring a company to behave
>in a certain manner, usually as part of a court-ordered
>punishment. (2)(n) - Something akin to a "no-no note" that Microsoft
>routinely chooses to ignore while proceeding with its
>overly-aggressive business practices.
>
>"Cross-Platform" - (1)(n) - Industry standard definition for a product
>that runs on multiple computing environments (See "Platform"). (2)(n)
>- Microsoft's marketing term used to mean a product that runs on any
>of Microsoft's 'platforms.' (e.g., Microsoft's Java is
>'cross-platform' since it runs on Windows 95, 98, 2000, ME, and XP.)
>
>"Embrace and Extend" -(1)(colloq.) - Microsoft term for accepting
>community standards and incorporating such standards in its
>products. (See "Standards").
>
>"Embrace, Extend, Extinguish" -(1)(colloq.) - Internet community
>parody on Microsoft's proclaimed "Embrace and Extend" philosophy,
>particularly in light of how the software giant interprets the term
>'standards.' (See "Standards" and "Embrace and Extend")
>
>"External Feedback" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's vague public justification
>for removing the Smart Tags feature from Windows XP. (2)(n) - Several
>articles and community statements threatening Microsoft with lawsuits
>over Smart Tags being used to create derivative works from copyrighted
>material, and for using its monopoly position to influence (read
>'dominate' or 'control') web content. (See "Smart Tags")
>
>"Freedom to Innovate" -(1)(n) - Microsoft's attempt to appeal to the
>patriotic spirit of the consumer and courts, implying that a failure
>to "innovate" (see "Innovation") threatens software development,
>competition, world order, the national economy, and may prevent Bill
>from building the addition to his mansion next year.
>
>"Great" - (1)(n) - Bill Gates' mantra to the media (e.g., "we'll
>continue to make great products.....through great software.....etc.)
>Often used repeatedly and annoyingly in speeches.
>
>"Innovation" - (1)(n) - Microsoft euphamism for ideas they have
>'borrowed' (stolen) or, in rare cases, actually bought from other
>companies.
>
>"Open Source" -(1)(n) - A generally-accepted software development
>philosophy (AKA "CopyLeft") where software coded through a community
>effort, and the software source code is freely viewable and usable by
>anyone with few restrictions - also serving as a mechanism of
>providing peer review of software code by the developer community. The
>result is a community development effort that produces robust and
>reliable software. (2)(n) - An industry philosophy of software
>development that terrifies Microsoft.
>
>"Platform" - (1)(n) - Industry-standard definition referring to a
>specific computing environment or operating system (e.g., Solaris,
>BSD, Macintosh, Windows, AIX are different platforms). (2)(n) -
>Redmond term used to mean any Microsoft-developed operating system.
>
>"Software Piracy" -(1)(n) - The unauthorized copying and distribution
>of commercial software by large organized crime syndicates that pose a
>much greater economic problem for Microsoft, not the individual
>consumer that they claim. (See "Product Activation Technology" and
>"Heroin Economics.")
>
>"Source Code for Windows" -(1)(n) - Microsoft's Crown Jewels and most
>prized and guarded intellectual property. Seeing it is the only true
>way of really learning how stable, secure, or robust Windows is.
>
>"Standards" - (1) (n, pl.) - What Microsoft thinks should be the
>defined baseline for computing and networking protocols. (2) (n, pl) -
>Microsoft's inserting of proprietary code into computing technologies
>previously-agreed to and in active use by the global computing
>community (e.g., Kerberos, DNS, RTF) and then proclaiming the
>bastardized product as "standards-based" though not a true "standard"
>in the eyes of the computing community.
>
>"Viral Software" -(1)(n) - Microsoft metaphor (attempting to play on
>the negative connotation of the term computer "viruses") for any
>software not developed or owned by Microsoft, such as anything Linux,
>BSD, Mac, or Solaris based. (2)(n) - Security community metaphor
>describing Microsoft products and their propensity for both acting
>like and spreading real viruses. (See also "Cancer", "Swap Files" and
>"Temp Files.")
>
>
>
>
>Security-Oriented Terms
>
>
>"Bug" - (n)(1) - See "Issue"
>
>"Buffer Overflow" - (1)(n) - Security condition present in nearly all
>Microsoft products caused by the improper or nonexistent limiting of
>input query buffers.
>
>"Bulls-Eye" -(1)(colloq.) - Often said by security staff conducting
>network penetration scans when observing the presence of open TCP
>ports 135, 137, or 139, indicating a Windows system is present.
>
>"Could Allow" - (colloq.) - As Microsoft Security Bulletins read, a
>reported vulnerability or exploit to a Microsoft product may be a
>security problem ONLY when exploited by a cracker. Implies that a
>security problem is not a major concern until the exploit
>occurs. Example: " Authentication Error in SMTP Service Could Allow
>Mail Relaying" (01-037). In reality, the problem exists, but in
>Microsoft's expert judgement, the problem is not a 'problem' until
>exploited and makes the news. A real world example would be
>proclaiming that "guns kill people" (a truth, but only if if the gun
>is handled by a person who either loads it and pulls the trigger or
>uses it to club someone. By itself, the device is harmless.)
>
>"Issue" - (1)(n) - A feel-good euphamism used by Microsoft referring
>to a security problem. (e.g., "Microsoft has discovered an issue
>with......") (2)(n) - Microsoft's implied denial that a problem
>exists, calling it an "issue" instead of a "problem", "bug",
>"vulnerability" or "exploit." (In the real world, how many
>relationships have been broken off due to "issues" versus "problems"
>with the significant other?)
>
>"Known Issue" - (1)(n) - A feel-good euphamism used by Microsoft
>referring to a previously-reported problem. (See "issue")
>
>"Malformed" - (1)(adj) - Term used by Microsoft to describe a security
>problem caused by submitting false or modified information to an
>application, such as a typographic error may direct a user to a
>different website than what was intended. (2)(adj) - Term used by the
>security community to describe many Microsoft products.
>
>"Microsoft Security Bulletin" - (1)(n) Release of documentation for a
>previously-undocumented feature in the named Microsoft Product.
>
>"Secure Microsoft Product" - (1)(n) - Any unopened, uninstalled
>Microsoft product, preferably still inside its shrink-wrap. (2)(n) - A
>PC running Microsoft operating systems or software that is not
>connected to a network or has removable media (e.g., disk drives)
>installed...that's how Windows NT received it's C2 endorsement from
>the NSA in the mid-1990s!
>
>"Security" - (1) (n) - Something Microsoft products lack, evidenced by
>the frequency of reports of major products with vulnerable services
>enabled by default, or by releasing easily-exploited software
>products. (2) (noun) - A concept that is a mutually-exclusive to
>anything Microsoft.
>
>"Security Response Process" - (1) (n) - Method Microsoft uses to react
>to reported security problems with its products. Runs contrary to
>industry-accepted standards of proactively preventing problems through
>secure software design and intense program quality assurance and abuse
>testing prior to release.
>
>"Vulnerability" - (1)(n) - A reported weakness that facilitates the
>compromise of a software product or system. (2)(n) - General security
>community term for any computer running Windows, networked or not.
>
>
>
>Product-Related Terms
>
>
>"Active X" - (1)(n) - Vulnerability-ridden and explotable scripting
>language for Microsoft internet products. Commonly called "Craptive-X"
>by the security community.
>
>"Alpha Release" - (1)(n) - Any Microsoft product shipped to a selected
>number of users who agree to test and look for potential problems,
>often incorrectly labelled a "beta" release. (See "Beta Release")
>
>"AutoRecover" - (1)(n) - One of Microsoft's key reasons for upgrading
>to Office XP, thus officially acknowledging the inherent instability
>of previous versions of Office and Windows products.
>
>"Beta Release" - (1)(n) - Any shrink-wrapped Microsoft product
>available for retail purchase or sold to PC manufacturers for
>inclusion on new PCs. Microsoft has made its fortunes from users who
>routinely pay (in many, many ways!)  for the privilege of testing
>Microsoft products.
>
>"Beta Testers" -(1)(n, pl) - Software industry term for technical
>folks who evaluate software prior to its public release or
>sale. (2)(n, pl) - Anyone using a publicly-released Microsoft
>product. (See "Beta Release")
>
>"Blue Screen of Death" - (1)(n) - One of Microsoft's few real
>innovations. (2)(n) - Cryptic error codes seen by users when a Windows
>system crashes.
>
>"C#" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's proprietary answer to Sun's truly
>cross-platform Java language. However, C# is only effective when used
>on Microsoft 'platforms'. (See "platform" and "cross-platform").
>
>"Clippy" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's attempt to reincarnate Microsoft Bob
>(see 'Microsoft Bob') as a user's assistant, creating a virtual
>paperclip notorious for second-guessing Office users with its "It
>looks like you're writing a letter. Do you want to format for a
>letter..." annoyances. Resurrected in mid-2001 as a marketing ploy to
>generate buzz about Office XP's "lack" of such a demon. (2)(n) -
>Microsoft's assumption that all users are idiots.
>
>"Clip Art" - (1)(n) - A method used to compromise ("hack into") a
>Microsoft system using seemingly-harmless stock artwork for Microsoft
>Office products as evidenced by Microsoft Security Bulletin 00-015.
>
>"DOS" (Disk Operating System) - (1)(n) - The decades-old file system
>that still serves as the underlying base for Windows operating
>systems. The absence of a C prompt (command line) does not mean that
>DOS is no longer part of the Windows operating system, only that it is
>a bit harder to access. (See "Microsoft Windows")
>
>"Easter Eggs" - (1)(n,pl) - Hidden programs and routines placed inside
>programs by their developers, some of which don't get removed prior to
>public release.
>
>"Enhancement" -(1)(n) - See "Service Pack" or "Hotfix."
>
>"Hotfix" - (1) (n) - A downloaded file used to fix a small number of
>major problems. Many Service Packs contain prior hotfixes.
>
>"Internet Explorer" - (1)(n) - According to Microsoft, in light of its
>ongoing anti-trust court proceedings, a set of "core technologies"
>(not a 'separate application') necessary for Windows to
>operate. (2)(n) - According to the security community, a set of "core
>technologies" (not a 'separate application') that facilitates the
>compromise ("hacking") of a remote client computer by exploiting the
>network-centric, vulnerable "core technology" of the operating
>system. AKA "Internet Exploder".  (3)(n) - Constant source of security
>news.
>
>"Internet Information Server" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's free internet
>server application marketed as an 'innovative' (See "innovation") part
>of the evolution of Windows NT and 2000. See also, "Bulls-Eye". (2)(n)
>- Constant source of security news.
>
>"Knowledge Base" -(1)(n) - Microsoft's best attempt to provide
>technical information on the inner workings of its products, usually
>in response to a problem and its fix.
>
>"Legacy" - (1)(adj) - Any existing product that Microsoft wants to
>stop supporting in order to promote newer ones.
>
>"Microsoft Bob" - (1)(n) - Cutsey mid-90s attempt to dumb down the
>user interface for the average (and still growing) consumer
>markets. Died a quick painful death.
>
>"Microsoft.NET." - (1)(n) - Whatever Microsoft thinks it will entail,
>but definately reliant on a subscription-based business model for
>internet-based services, provided such services can stay operational.
>
>"Microsoft Hailstorm" - (1)(n) - See .NET.
>
>"Microsoft Outlook" - (1)(n) - Aside from USENET, the world's most
>prevalent (and efficient) virus distribution package. This includes
>Exchange Server, Microsoft Outlook, and Microsoft Outlook Express
>products. Also called "Microsoft Look-Out" by the security community.
>
>"Microsoft Passport" - (1)(n) - Part of Microsoft's new
>subscription-ware business model, this serves as the central login for
>Microsoft users as part of .NET and Hailstorm. (2)(n) - Single point
>of failure.
>
>"Microsoft Windows" -(1)(n) - Microsoft's continual refinement of the
>decades-old Disk Operating System. (See "Disk Operating System" and
>"Vulnerability")
>
>"Minimum System Requirements" - (1)(n, pl) - What Microsoft markets as
>the absolute minimum that a given product can operate on to claim a
>larger target market for a product. Such specifications correctly
>states that a product will be functional on such minimal requirements
>- but implies that a customer will be as productive as someone with
>much more computing power. (See "Windows Ready PC") A heartbeat may be
>a "minimum system requirement" for a human, but an infant can't run a
>marathon. (See "Recommended System Requirements")
>
>"Preview Version" -(1)(n) - See "Alpha Release." Also called
>"Technical Preview."
>
>"Product Activation Technology" - (1)(n) - Half-baked, easily-bypassed
>method intended to prevent software piracy of Microsoft products,
>particularly on the consumer side, such as Windows XP and Office
>XP. (2)(v) - Invasion and reduction of the consumer's privacy and
>flexibility while using Microsoft products. (3)(v) - "Raising the
>Price" on the one-on-one manner of sharing software that helped
>Microsoft gain its monopoly status. AKA "Heroin Economics." (See
>"Heroin Economics")
>
>"Recommended System Requirements" - (1)(n, pl) - In reality, the
>minimum system configuration necessary for average performance of a
>given Microsoft product.  Doubling this should yield adequate
>performance by the product. (See "Minimum System Requirements")
>
>"Remote Assistance" - (1)(n) - Feature in Windows XP that allows a
>remote person to provide troubleshooting assistance by logging onto a
>user's computer. (2)(n) - Making one of Microsoft's oldest security
>problems a documented product "feature."
>
>"Scalable" - (1)(n) - Microsoft claim that a given product can grow to
>support ever-growing user and processing loads, provided such growth
>is limited to Microsoft expectations and 'platforms.' (See "platform")
>
>"Service Pack" - (1) (n) - Stuff left out of the retail release of a
>Microsoft product that needs to be added to products already sold
>and/or in use. (2) (n) - Something that will probably break a
>customer's existing system during the service pack installation
>process. (3)(n) - Method used by Microsoft to fix problems in a
>product which are too widespread to fix with a simple hotfix. (See
>"Hotfix")
>
>"Smart Tags" - (1)(n) - Failed attempt by Microsoft to once again
>exert monopolist control, this time over any website's content by
>creating unauthorized derivative works from copyrighted material, and
>using its monopoly in the browser and "platform" market to lead web
>surfers to Microsoft-sponsored and endorsed products, services, and
>advertisers.
>
>"Subscription-Ware" -(1)(n) - Software such as Windows XP that users
>pay to use on an annual basis instead of a one-time license. Failure
>to pay annual subscriptions will render user data and/or
>Microsoft-based organizations unreachable and unusable until such
>tribute is paid on an annual basis. (2)(n) - Giving a corporation -
>software or entertainment industry - control over a user's information
>and livelihood. (3)(n) - Gross invasion of privacy. (See "UCITA")
>
>"Swap File" - (1)(n) - Method used by Windows to fill up and fragment
>users disk space.
>
>"Temp Files" - (1)(n) - See "Swap File" above.
>
>"Three-Finger Salute" - (1)(n) - One of Microsoft's first
>innovations. (2)(n) - The process used to reboot a computer after a
>crash - often resulting in Repetitive Strain Injuries for Windows
>users.
>
>"Undocumented Feature" - (1)(n) - Previously unknown capability of a
>software product. See "Microsoft Security Bulletin."
>
>"Upgrade" - (1)(v) - Process of introducing new vulnerabilities to the
>existing customer community. (2)(n) - New versions of software
>products.
>
>"Visual Basic" - (1)(n) - Microsoft scripting language that
>facilitates mass exploitation of Microsoft applications (2)(n) -
>Microsoft-centric version of the Virus Creation Toolkit.
>
>"Visual Vulnerability" - (1)(colloq.) - See "Visual Basic."
>
>"Windows-Compliant PC" - (1)(n) - Computers with ever-growing and
>often obscene memory, processor, and hard disk requirements for a
>basic installation of a Microsoft operating system. (2)(n) - Easy
>target for crackers.
>
>"Windows Droppings" - (1)(n, pl) - Temporary files generated by
>various Windows applications (and the operating system itself) that
>accumulate on a Windows hard drive and consume valuable disk
>space. See "Temp Files."
>
>"Windows Media Player" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's proprietary music player
>and music format that is being positioned as a pro-Hollywood music
>player that will give the music industry full control over where and
>how a Windows user can play audio files and music they have stored on
>their systems. Intended to replace the "anarchist" and widely-popular
>MP3 standard for music in favor of a closed, proprietary,
>privacy-invading, corporate-controlling format.
>
>"Windows NT" - (1)(n) - Corporate operating system produced by
>Microsoft in the late 1990s. Also referred to as "Needs Tweaking" (due
>to its many problems) or "Needs Towing" (referring to the incident
>involving a crashed NT server forcing a Navy vessel to be towed back
>to port in 1999), "Nice Try", "Neanderthal Technology" (for its DOS
>roots), "Not There", "Not Tested", and "Not Trustworthy" among many
>others.
>
>"Zero Administration" -(1)(n) - Marketing fantasy that claims a
>software package requires next to no dedicated staff to administer or
>support it. In Microsoft's claims of Zero Administration, something
>that no Windows product can survive with.
>
>
>
>Miscellaneous Terms
>
>
>"AOL" - (1)(n) - Microsoft's arch-enemy, a large mega-corporation that
>Microsoft is insanely afraid and jealous of now that the functionality
>and day-to-day importance of the Windows OS is being threatened by the
>AOL Client suite of services.
>
>"Borg" - (1)(n, pl) - When used in relation to Microsoft, this term
>refers to the Star Trek cybernetic villians that would use
>overwhelming force to assimilate and incorporate lesser beings into
>their ever-growing Collective.
>
>"Heroin Economics" - Common practice of drug dealers looking to
>establish a customer base by providing free samples to "hook" users,
>at which time the dealer raises his prices for his product. Since
>people are now dependent, they will naturally pay whatever is
>necessary to obtain the substance. In the software world, for years
>Microsoft tolerated software piracy (both casual and organized) as its
>user base expanded and the company became a monopoly on the desktop
>with millions of "hooked" users and organizations...at which time it
>raised its prices and plans to force users to pay annual tributes to
>feed their dependence on Microsoft products and services. (See
>"Product Activation Technology")
>
>"Mac OS/X" - (1)(n) - Apple's new BSD-based operating system,
>something that Microsoft is trying to emulate in XP and failing
>miserably at.
>
>"Microsoft" - (1)(n) - The world's largest software company. (2)(n) -
>Company found guilty of being a monopoly. (3)(n) - A threat to
>national and corporate information security and stability. (4)(n) -
>Inventor and distributor of the most frequently-used, attacked, and
>exploited software in the world. (5)(n) - Invented the Blue Screen of
>Death (See "Blue Screen of Death") and Three-Finger Salute (See
>"Three-Finger Salute").
>
>"Microsoft Tax" - (1)(n) - See "Heroin Economics." (2)(n) - Inability
>or serious difficulty a computer buyer faces when trying to purchase a
>computer without a pre-installed Microsoft operating system and suite
>of products.
>
>"Networking 101" - (1)(n) - Class Microsoft engineers clearly failed
>when they placed all four corporate DNS servers behind the same
>router. When the router failed in early 2001, all Microsoft servers,
>from Passport to Hotmail and Microsoft.Com went off-line. (Ref:
>"Passport Definiton #2).
>
>"Redmond" - (1)(adj) - Synonymous to "Microsoft" as Microsoft is the
>largest employer in the city of Redmond in Washington State.
>
>"Satan Conspiracy Theory" (1)(n) - The long-time joke in the computer
>community that the ASCII value of the Microsoft founder's name (Bill
>Gates, III) when added together, equals "666".
>
>"Tux" - (1)(n) - The name of the cute penguin that serves as the Linux
>Mascot and represents many things that Microsoft isn't. (2)(n) - The
>Sign of The Devil and/or a 'cancer' (see 'Cancer') that Microsoft is
>fearful of.
>
>"UCITA" - (1)(n) - An emerging commercial law - very anti-consumer -
>that among other things, gives software vendors the ability to
>remotely disable user computers for any reason and binds a customer to
>a license agreement that they cannot see until they open the software,
>thus violating an agreement thatt they have not had the opportunity to
>read, examine, and determine whether or not they wish to enter into
>such an agreement with the software vendor. Software sold as
>"subscription-ware" is an ideal method to exercise such controls over
>the customer-victims. Often pronounced "You Cheat-Ah", referring to
>its anti-consumer language. Microsoft is one of several software
>companies actively supporting this policy. (See "Subscription-Ware")
>
>"Useful PC" - (1)(n) - Any computer that is unable to run the latest
>version of Windoze because the processor is not fast enough and is
>recycled as a much more stable, secure, and robust multi-user system
>with the installation of Linux. (Thx to CF for this!)



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