[IP] Jobs warns of missing features in knokoff iPhones

[David Farber <dave@farber.net>]

I love the term trusted network -- ATT and NSA  djf

Begin forwarded message:

From: Brad Templeton <btm@templetons.com>
Date: July 5, 2007 6:58:35 PM EDT
To: David Farber <dave@farber.net>
Subject: Jobs warns of missing features in knokoff iPhones


Original at:
http://ideas.4brad.com/jobs-warns-knockoff-iphone-lacks-many-key- 
features

Steve Jobs of Apple Computer warned today that a rumoured cheap Chinese
iPhone knockoff making its way toward America is an inferior product  
which
lacks many of the important features of the iPhone. It may look a bit
like an iPhone, but when consumers discover all the great iPhone  
features
that are missing from it, we think theyll still line up at Apple Stores
for the genuine article, said Jobs in a released statement. Designed by
software nerds, the knockoff, dubbed the myPhone by fans, has not yet
been confirmed.

Apple released a list of features reported to be missing from the  
MyPhone.

    * The iPhone has special software that assures you will use the
    trusted AT&T cellular network. Lacking this software, the myPhone
    accepts any SIM card from any network. Users may find themselves
    connected to a network that doesnt have the reputation for service,
    trust and protecting the privacy of customers that AT&T has. In
    addition, users may be stuck without 2 years of guaranteed AT&T
    service.

    * The iPhone is configured to assure you the latest iTunes
    experience. The myPhone may operate before you have installed
    the latest iTunes and registered your phone with it. Indeed, the
    myPhone lacks the protections that block it from being used without
    registering it with or reporting back to anybody, depriving the  
user
    of customer service and upsell opportunities.

    * The iPhone has special software that assures all applications run
    on the iPhone have been approved by Apple, which protects the user
    from viruses and tools that may make the user violate their licence
    agreements. The myPhone will run any application, from any  
developer,
    opening up the user to all sorts of risks.

    * The iPhone protects users from dangerous Flash and Java  
applications
    which may compromise their device and confuse the user experience.

    * myPhones dont forbid VoIP software that may cause the user to
    accidentally make calls over wireless internet connections instead
    of the AT&T network. Quality on the internet is unpredictable, as
    is the price, which can range down to zero, causing great pricing
    uncertainty.

    * The iPhone saves the user from receiving distracting instant
    messages over popular IM services, adding calm to your day.

    * Music and videos in the iPhone are protected by Apple FairPlay  
brand
    DRM. On the myPhone, which lacks the important DRM functionality,
    music can be freely copied to other devices the user owns, putting
    the user at risk of infringing copyrights.

    * The iPhone assures users will only play media files in approved
    formats, and not risky open source formats.

    * The iPhone protects the user from setting a song in their device
    as a ringtone, saving those around him from annoyance and  
protecting
    the user from violating music copyrights and performance rights.

    * The iPhone Bluetooth functions have careful security
    management. Users are protected from using bluetooth to exchange  
files
    with other users (such files are risky) or accidentally printing
    or communicating with your computer. Bluetooth is only used for
    headsets and headphones as was intended. The myPhone lacks these
    important protections.

    * The iPhone only uses its internal flash drive. The user is  
protected
    against hard drives, which have moving parts and can put data at  
risk.

    * The myPhone battery has a removable door over it, which can get
    lost, or allow the battery to fall out or be stolen. The iPhones
    battery is solidly protected. Users are also assured they will
    use only Apple certified batteries and not subject to the risk of
    aftermarket batteries, which may explode, killing the user.

    * The iPhone is for sale only in the USA and primarily for use
    there. This encourages users to stay home in America which is good
    for the economy and their own peace of mind.

    * The iPhone, unlike the myPhone and all other cell phones, sells
    at a very solid markup for Apple, assuring Apple executives and
    stockholders will be happy, and the company will be around to
    support the iPhone for years to come. The myPhone, it is rumoured,
    will be purchasable in a wide variety of stores, confusing the  
buyer
    with too much choice, price wars and depriving them of the special
    experience of an Apple or AT&T store.

    * As a result, the myPhone lacks the Apple brand coolness which is
    built into the iPhone and every other Apple product. Nobodys going
    to have to spend days in line for a myPhone, said Jobs. You wont
    have people thrusting them in your face all week to show you how
    cool they are.


MyPhones are predicted to sell for $350 without contract, $150 with a
2 year contract to the provider of your choice.

Put comments and additions at:

http://ideas.4brad.com/jobs-warns-knockoff-iphone-lacks-many-key- 
features


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